Excess of Opinions

I dig monster movies, if done well, and I feel I’m fairly generous when it comes to my definition of “well”. I have special love for monster movies that are serious, but my heart is big enough for gory, goofy extravaganzas. I was stupid excited about this movie. Every time I saw a trailer for it, I would frantically grab at my husband if he were unfortunate enough to be in reach, out of my mind with excitement. I love werewolves like Tom Cruise loves pretending to be straight! Unlike my predilection for post-apocalypse movies, however, werewolf movies are almost never any good. An American Werewolf In London, that’s about it (and even that is mostly borne aloft by Griffin Dunne’s peevish hilarity and Rick Baker’s effects genius, only slightly dated). But Benecio Del Toro! And Anthony Hopkins! A Victorian werewolf story, you say? With a blue filter? Sign me up!!

Alas…something went terribly wrong in the making of this movie, and not in any of the places I expected. Firstly, the super-hot and usually dedicated Del Toro swung wide of the mark here. His acting is really pretty terrible. He is stiff, but not in a Victorian way – in a reading-off-cue-cards way. All the British actors somehow seem to make their dialog poetic and earnest, but Benecio phones it in. I read that although a producer, he had some major disagreements with the director who was brought in to replace his first pick, specifically about the nature of his character. In retrospect, it feels as though he lost his own suspension of disbelief, and ultimately torpedoed the whole picture. This pains me, because I do normally love every thing he does and believe that Benecio Del Toro is made of rainbows and marzipan.

There are, however, two reasons that this movie was not a total waste of my time. The first is Anthony Hopkins, who devours the scenery so perfectly and commands every single scene he’s in with such delicious force that he nearly redeems the whole project. The second reason is the unexpectedly and perfectly over-the-top gore. This may in fact be a negative point to many people, but if you can realistically decapitate something with shameless glee, you have my heart.

this is terrible, but there’s some prime boobage there.

most Stephen King adaptations suck ass, but this one’s pretty good.

The only thing more awesome than Anthony Perkins is Janet Leigh’s rack.

I heard this one wasn’t the feel-good romp that the others are, but I liked it in all its garbage-filter desolation.

FINALLY, I saw this. And it was everything they said it was!

I just now saw this (in the theater even!), and at the 2 hour point, I was all “everyone said how disturbing this movie was, but this is pretty straight-forward for Terry Gilliam, and it must be almost over…”. then a few minutes later i was all, “OH THERE IT IS. THERE’S THE GILLIAM. CAN’T SLEEP CLOWNS WILL EAT ME.”
still, love it. also, WTF – DeNiro?

VERY, VERY GORY – Burton has obviously been studying his anatomy texts. great singing, gorgeous Burton settings and costumes, and condenses the stage show rather nicely. . i consider a movie a success when Alan Rickman is the weakest link. and GREAT job, Borat! high-fiiive!

pretty good, surprisingly. the CG Scary Thing(tm) wasn’t particularly believable, but i haven’t yet seen one that is, and i don’t think i could point to a better one. not much plot, but a movie like this doesn’t need one.

excellent and good-looking, with Guillermo del Toro’s unmistakable handprint all over it. not quite as subtle or weighty as del Toro’s own, but suspenseful and well-crafted.